Our Article Ideas Algorithm Says You Should Marinate Chicken In Piss

July 27, 2019 by , featured in Food and Recipes
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We don’t know what happened. The algorithm that generates our article ideas is usually pretty spot on. That’s why it’s so weird that it suggested you marinate chicken in piss. But it’s never been wrong before, so who are we to argue? So, start marinating your chicken in piss, we guess? Again, we stand by the algorithm.

Survival in the online lifestyle and wellness space demands an endless stream of content, and our algorithm supplies it (and does it well). So when the algorithm provides another batch of fantastic ideas, and then suggests that you put some chicken breasts in a Ziploc bag and then piss in that bag, we don’t argue.

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It doesn’t sound great, to be honest. But maybe it’s on to something? Maybe piss chicken is good? I don’t know. To be fair, we thought it was weird when it suggested that raw oatmeal and honey would make a good facial scrub. Then we tried it, and it was awesome. When it comes to the chicken and piss thing, we’re thinking maybe the algorithm knows that the slight acidity of the piss will unlock the flavor of the chicken? Maybe?

The algorithm doesn’t explain how long to marinate the chicken in the piss. We’d guess human piss is probably closest to a southern fried chicken pickle juice brine in flavor. Just replace the dill with a more asparagus-y profile. We’re guessing this entails anywhere between six to 24 hours of raw chicken free floating in a bath of human piss (assuming the algorithm hasn’t gone mad from overuse and this is just its revenge against its human masters).

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So stuff your genitals in that Ziploc bag and make it rain yellow gold on those chickens. Then let us know how it goes!

Images: Pexels

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