Coat Your Dick In Wax, Just Like Ryan Gosling Does (Possibly)
Have you heard about the latest bedroom trend? Men everywhere are encasing their penises in wax before having sex, according to the Twitter account @waxinvestor47. It’s called Signing and Delivering. We know coating your dick in wax sounds pretty wild, and even a little dangerous. But that one social media reference got a ton of retweets, so we have no reason not to believe that everyone is doing it. And that means we’ve immediately become experts for the sake of your health … and your sex life.
And do you know who else is an expert in coating your dick in wax? Ryan Gosling. That’s according to none other than the man himself: Aka an unverified social media account claiming to know him. They only have 14 followers—no doubt because they want to keep their hotline to the stars a secret. And if a big shot Hollywood celebrity is telling you to do it, you’d be crazy not to.
To take full advantage of this sexual revolution, you’re apparently going to want to invest in everything from sex wax to a urethral sounding rod. You can trust us because we’ve known about this fad for over a week, and we’ve even thought about trying it for ourselves!
So take your sex life to the next level. A level experienced by Ryan Goddamn Gosling (and, so we heard via some guy on Reddit, one Mr. Harrison Ford). Yes, the “mainstream media” is currently interviewing scaremongering “doctors” who say this fad might be “dangerous” or “made up,” but we’ve seen totally real social media anecdotes that the orgasms experienced from Signing and Delivering are so intense that they’re absolutely worth the occasional genital burn and pubic hair singe. And why would anyone lie about that?
So get out that hot, hot wax, put it directly on your dick, and tell us how it goes!
Featured: Raffi Asdourian/Flickr