Mermaids Facts To Scream Over Your Uncle’s Racist Rants This Thanksgiving
It’s a surefire way to survive the day intact.
Color Of The Month: Green Ketchup
Some call it an abomination. We call it the official color of November 2019!
Fetish Of The Month: Constant, Laborious Dedication To Getting Me Off
It takes both time and commitment to get me anywhere even close to an orgasm.
Become More Cultured By Covering Your Genitals In Yogurt
It’s not JUST a pun (though that’s admittedly a big part of this).
How To Get Over Imposter Syndrome Without Revealing Your Fake Identity
Your whole life is a lie, but you deserved that promotion.
It’s Time To Teach Your Children The True Meaning Of No Nut November
It’s about family, faith, and unrelenting blue balls.
Interior Design Ideas That Hide Your Suspended Bondage Fetish
Have you thought about an indoor hammock?
A Guide For First-Time Fathers Who Are Also Frankensteins
Parenting is hard—and it’s even harder when you’re a Frankenstein.
The Best Cakes To Smash Into Your Face When Trying To Fool A Social Worker
Keep this insane ruse going just a little longer!
Interior Decorating Tips For Anyone Living In The Hollowed-Out Carcass Of A Bear
Make that bear a home.
Have An Eco-Friendly Halloween By Decorating With Real Corpses
They’re 100% biodegradable and look fantastic!
Is The Slender Man Setting Unrealistic Body Expectations For His Victims?
What kind of example is he setting?
We Talked To A Sex Therapist About Their Favorite ‘Friday The 13th’ Kills
It was super weird and not at all what we wanted.
Halloween Couples Costumes For Open Marriages
Fun and festive ways to let everyone know you’re in The Lifestyle!
I Went Down Four Pant Sizes On The Matter-Eater Lad Diet
You can eat whatever you want—as long as it’s not food!
Fall Is Wonderful Unless You’re An Apple-Hands-Man Like Me
“Fall is but a living nightmare for an apple-hands-man.”
All The Colors We’re Painting Our Fall Foliage This Season
It’s time to cover up that unsightly green.
5 Jack-O’-Lanterns That Just Turned Into Danny DeVito Somehow
Happy fall, y’all! We’re coming at you with the only pumpkin carving tutorial you’ll ever need. We’re going to be looking at five simple designs today, and I’m going to give you all the tips and tricks I use to make perfect Halloween jack-o’-lanterns. [Disclaimer: Many of the below pumpkins may end up looking like […]
Simple Halloween Costumes That Will Take Several Minutes To Explain
‘Are you on Twitter? Okay, let’s back up.’