Mermaids Facts To Scream Over Your Uncle’s Racist Rants This Thanksgiving
It’s a surefire way to survive the day intact.
A Guide For First-Time Fathers Who Are Also Frankensteins
Parenting is hard—and it’s even harder when you’re a Frankenstein.
Have An Eco-Friendly Halloween By Decorating With Real Corpses
They’re 100% biodegradable and look fantastic!
A Simple Guide To Wines So You Don’t Look Like A Caveman At Dinner
Avoid humiliation, you giant barbarian.
Interior Design Ideas That Hide Your Suspended Bondage Fetish
Have you thought about an indoor hammock?
This App Reveals Your Genealogy—Just Stick Your Phone Up Your Butt!
There’s a wealth of information in your butthole.
Color Of the Month
Color Of The Month: Green Ketchup
Some call it an abomination. We call it the official color of November 2019!
The Best Cakes To Smash Into Your Face When Trying To Fool A Social Worker
Keep this insane ruse going just a little longer!
Red Eyeshadow Is The Hottest New Look Until I Recover From This Infection
‘There’s just so much pus.’
Fetish Of The Month
Fetish Of The Month: Constant, Laborious Dedication To Getting Me Off
It takes both time and commitment to get me anywhere even close to an orgasm.
Food and Recipes
I Went Down Four Pant Sizes On The Matter-Eater Lad Diet
You can eat whatever you want—as long as it’s not food!
Become More Cultured By Covering Your Genitals In Yogurt
It’s not JUST a pun (though that’s admittedly a big part of this).
How Each Zodiac Sign Will Ruin Your Carefully Planned Art Heist
Your failure is written in the stars.
Who You’ll Bang In The Animaniacs Universe According To Your Sign
Minerva Mink? Or perhaps the Godpigeon?
Macaulay Culkin Answers Your Dumb Questions
Mack Answers Your Dumb Questions: ‘Which ’90s Snack Food Would You Bring Back?’
You asked, Mack answered.
Mack Answers Your Dumb Questions: ‘What’s The Biggest Misconception About You?’
You asked, I answered!
Mack Answers Your Dumb Questions: ‘What’s Your Favorite Grilled Cheese Recipe?’
“Grilled cheese” is a relative term.
It’s Time To Teach Your Children The True Meaning Of No Nut November
It’s about family, faith, and unrelenting blue balls.
I Made A Raccoon My Life Coach And I’ve Never Been Happier
Rummage through the trash of life and find your true self!
Vacation Guide: The Closet Of The Woman You’re Having An Affair With
Take in the view of those hangers!
What To Do With That Icelandic Elf You Accidentally Murdered
It was somewhere between Reykjavík and Midborg.
Travel Guide: The Inside Of A JNCO Jeans Leg
These jeans are the ultimate staycation location for those times you want to get away but don’t want to go very far.
Macaulay Culkin Hired A Book Curator To Help Him Collect All 7 ‘Harry Potter’ Books
‘They represent over half of all books known to exist.’
Mack Reveals The Scariest Place He’s Ever Been (And He’s Been A Lot Of Places)
It’s another Bunny Ears podcast follow up!
Where Are They Now: Triple H’s Long Hair
His luscious locks were a wrestling-world staple for decades.
We Met The Safety Inspector Of Bray Wyatt’s Firefly Funhouse, And It Wasn’t Good
Boy, were there a lot of hazards!
‘Absolute Carnage’ Reading List Includes ‘Beowulf’ To Taco Bell Sauce Packets
Do you want to understand this shit or not?
We Can Tell Your Personality Based On What You See In Rorschach’s Mask!
Find out what the vigilante antihero says about you!
Galaxys For Hire
Two outlaw sisters go on the run from an army when they learn the ship they’ve called home is the final puzzle piece of an ancient giant robot capable of unmaking reality. A sex-bot army and the secret history of the universe will follow!
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They’re weird, they’re funny, and they’re always so pretty! The Goldin Rules always offers something different! You’ll never see the same joke twice!
Ana’s Dollhouse Presents: Art Friends
Welcome to Art Friends. A weekly web-comic brought to you by Ana Bagayan, the creator of viral-hit Ana’s Dollhouse!
It’s better than ‘Family Circus’ but shittier than ‘Marmaduke’ because everything is shittier than ‘Marmaduke.’
TV and Movies
Yes, You Can Be Intimate With Someone With Scissor Hands. Here’s How
This is something we’ve thought about. A lot.
Ladies, It’s Time To Stop Comparing Every Man To The Goblin King
It will only lead to disappointment.
Galaxy’s Edging: Crafting The Perfect Lightsaber For Her Pleasure
Think of it as an elegant lightsaber dildo.
Due To Economy, Castlevania Now Available For Rent On AirBnb
Even Lord Dracula needs supplemental income these days.
Off The Top Of My Head, Here’s What I Think ‘Death Stranding’s’ Going To Be About
Because it could literally be about fucking anything.
4 Times Brock Lesnar Definitely Fell In Love During A Match
Here comes the pain … but maybe, just maybe, the love is worth it.
The Winner Of Braun Strowman vs. Tyson Fury Gets To Keep The Loser’s Hands
WWE is apparently attempting to “raise the stakes.”
5 Times Jim Cornette Was A Pretty Chill Dude—As Told By Vince Russo
Like that time he loaned me a pen.